Bane in Circuit City yesterday so Bane check out tracklisting on new Cannibal Corpse
album. Then Bane see copy of Batman & Robin
in sale bin on DVD. Bane not know WHY Bane sign off on stupid movie.
When studio get ready for movie, Bane SUPER HOT. Bane everywhere and everybody love Bane. Studio say "Bane, we make you BIG star! Bane villain of new Batman movie!" Bane say YES! and sign for big time pay. Bane say Bane want script approval and want ARNOLD for Bane. Arnold way shredder. Arnold play Bane like Terminator, but way hot with ladies. Studio say okay.
So there big party for movie and Bane get super-hammered on Cosmos. Bane have extra dose of Venom and get loopy. George Cloony walk past Bane, and Bane laugh at TV doctor and say Bane find out if he fix own broken back. But Bane really drunk and just throw up on Clooney. He not happy. Then director say hello and Bane tell him he super-fruity. "Bane smell fruit salad! Who want fruit salad! You gay!" All in all, Bane not make good impression. Icing on cake when Poison Ivy stop by and give screenwriter blowjob! Poison Ivy not even invited! Why she show up and give blowjob? Bane bet Ivy tounge feel like tree root.
So next thing Bane know, script get change and Bane not star bad guy. Bane now lame henchman. PLUS, Arnold now play Mr. Freeze! That SOOOO stupid! Bane bet that Clooney fault. That why Bane still not see Ocean's 11.
First couple day of shoot, Bane not say anything, then Bane come in with script re-write, and producer get mad at Bane for giving re-write to actors! It totally awesome stuff where Bane get cannon for arm and then Poison Ivy give Bane blowjob for whole year! It make Bane super-strong and Bane kill everything ever! Especially Batman! ROAR! Bane help writer make movie not stupid, but Bane told Bane not allowed on lot anymore. Bane get so mad Bane kick two tire off fruit director car. Take that, pickledick!
If Bane help make script change, movie would be awesome. Now it just turd that won't flush. Look at picture up top! Bane look like asshole! And Bane terrible character in story! Bane never shrivel! Bane stay rock-hard ALL DAY! Bane barely get any money from movie, since it not make enough to pay Bane on back-end deal. That why Bane now focus on writing independent feature from now on.See you soon!