ID Thief!
Sorry so long between posts. Bane have good reason, that everyone understand soon...plus, AOL dial-up service keep acting wonky. Bane keep calling and threatening dozen of back break, but people think Bane just kidding. Stupid carbunkle at AOL obviously never see Bane strong knee.
Bane super angry today. Bane throw chair through wall if Bane have money to fix wall. Bane no like drafty room. All this because Bane victim of identity theft. Someone use Bane credit card to purchase stupid crap at Big Lots and Ikea. Bane no even LIKE Ikea! Bane hate everything from Sweden since Bane find out Swedish Fish not actually fish from Sweden. Bane spend BIG MONEY and get huge fish sent from Sweden. Bane think it going to be delicious Swedish Fish, but it taste like regular fish! Bane call Swiss embassy and they laugh at Bane. That why Bane hate Sweden. Also, Bane like strong masonry, not flimsy wood, and Bane no able to pronounce anything at Ikea. Bane think company invent words.
Anyway, Bane get call from credit card company asking about purchase from Big Lots and Ikea and Bane no go those places. "Very sorry Bane," man say on phone, "but we may have case of Identity Theft."
Why people steal from Bane? That not way it supposed to happen! Bane supposed to steal from people. Bane steal happiness, candy, money, and ability to walk from people. That how world work! "Why store no ask for ID with card," Bane ask. "Bane wear sweet mask! Bane write in big letters 'Ask ID, pickledick!' on back of card!"
"Sorry, Bane," guy tell Bane, "they take card number, not card, then call order in. People get number stolen often at porno site online. Bane, you go to porno site?" Bane tell jerk "Of course not (Bane lie about this, but it small matter)," and threaten to break company in half. They put card on hold.
Bane go to computer and see website from last week: www.chubbytitsuxxx.ch. Bane do little research (Batman not ONLY detective in mask!) and find out ".ch" what Swedish people use for website! It Swiss porn. Swedish trick Bane with naked women and take credit card number while Bane...do stuff. Reader no need know what Bane do in free time.
Bane think Swiss out to get Bane. Bane show them all soon. When Bane back on top, Bane punch big hole in Switzerland and it fall into Earth. Then Bane watch and laugh with big box of Swedish Fish.
Now Bane try find out why Swiss charge $750 at Big Lots and only buy bunch of rubber snake. BANE NO WANT TO OWN SNAKE!!!
See you soon.
Bane super angry today. Bane throw chair through wall if Bane have money to fix wall. Bane no like drafty room. All this because Bane victim of identity theft. Someone use Bane credit card to purchase stupid crap at Big Lots and Ikea. Bane no even LIKE Ikea! Bane hate everything from Sweden since Bane find out Swedish Fish not actually fish from Sweden. Bane spend BIG MONEY and get huge fish sent from Sweden. Bane think it going to be delicious Swedish Fish, but it taste like regular fish! Bane call Swiss embassy and they laugh at Bane. That why Bane hate Sweden. Also, Bane like strong masonry, not flimsy wood, and Bane no able to pronounce anything at Ikea. Bane think company invent words.
Anyway, Bane get call from credit card company asking about purchase from Big Lots and Ikea and Bane no go those places. "Very sorry Bane," man say on phone, "but we may have case of Identity Theft."
Why people steal from Bane? That not way it supposed to happen! Bane supposed to steal from people. Bane steal happiness, candy, money, and ability to walk from people. That how world work! "Why store no ask for ID with card," Bane ask. "Bane wear sweet mask! Bane write in big letters 'Ask ID, pickledick!' on back of card!"
"Sorry, Bane," guy tell Bane, "they take card number, not card, then call order in. People get number stolen often at porno site online. Bane, you go to porno site?" Bane tell jerk "Of course not (Bane lie about this, but it small matter)," and threaten to break company in half. They put card on hold.
Bane go to computer and see website from last week: www.chubbytitsuxxx.ch. Bane do little research (Batman not ONLY detective in mask!) and find out ".ch" what Swedish people use for website! It Swiss porn. Swedish trick Bane with naked women and take credit card number while Bane...do stuff. Reader no need know what Bane do in free time.
Bane think Swiss out to get Bane. Bane show them all soon. When Bane back on top, Bane punch big hole in Switzerland and it fall into Earth. Then Bane watch and laugh with big box of Swedish Fish.
Now Bane try find out why Swiss charge $750 at Big Lots and only buy bunch of rubber snake. BANE NO WANT TO OWN SNAKE!!!
See you soon.
posted by Bane! at 11:25 AM
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